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Rédaction/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais : Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Rédaction/correction
Message de perfect posté le 26-10-2020 à 10:24:54 (S | E | F)
Hello,

Can you help me to correct this writing ?
Write an article to explain how words can be a powerful weapon to convey a message

We'll tackle today the issue of the words and how they can be a powerful tool to convey a message. First, many revolutions have been manifested by words, messages. In strikes, the population reclaims a certain numbers of things by shouting some words, key-words. The diversity of the language is a powerful weapon to manifest our urges et our sentiments. If there isn't, it'll be like the novel of Georges Orwell, nineteen eighty-for where a novelangue appears, in which the words to express a struggle is eraised. Another point is that words allow interaction, and interaction makes human more aware of the problem in the words or anyhthing like that, this is a fundamental hallmark for human progresses. Words join the arts. Indeed, some artists are involving themselves
owing to the words : they write poems or articles to struggle against an oppression for instance. Words permit the remembers and root the present history in the future. It's like this we have received somme former books from very far periods, it allows us therefore to know ourselves better.

Thank you for your help,
perfect


Réponse : Rédaction/correction de gerold, postée le 26-10-2020 à 13:04:37 (S | E)
Bonjour perfect

We'll tackle today the issue of the words and how they can be a powerful tool to convey a message. First, many revolutions have been manifested by words, messages. In strikes, the population reclaims a certain numbers of things cela fait "traduit de" by shouting some words, key-words. The diversity of the language pas très clair is a powerful weapon to manifest our urges et our sentiments. If there isn't maladroit, it'll be like in the novel of Georges Orwell orthographe, et employez le cas possessif, Nineteen Eighty-for where a novelangue appears dans la traduction française, mais en version originale ?, in which the words to express a struggle is conjugaison eraised orthographe. Another point is that words allow interaction, and interaction makes human beings more aware of the problem in the words ? or anyhthing like that, this is a fundamental hallmark for human progresses indénomnbrable, pas de pluriel. Words join the arts. Indeed, some artists are involving présent simple themselves
owing to the words : they write poems or articles to struggle against an oppression for instance. Words permit the remembers c'est un verbe, pas un nom and root the present history in the future. It's like this maladroit we have received somme orthographe former books from very far periods, it que représente "it" ? allows us therefore to know ourselves better. Vous confondez un peu les mots et l'écriture.



Réponse : Rédaction/correction de gerondif, postée le 26-10-2020 à 15:29:50 (S | E)
Bonjour
Je me permets de vous proposer aussi ma correction.
erreurs en bleu
We'll tackle today the issue of the(à ôter. Sens général) words and how they can be a powerful tool to convey a message. First, many revolutions have been manifested(ne veut rien dire en anglais, traduction littérale de "se sont manifestées" en français ?) by words, messages. In strikes, the population reclaims (faux ami. to reclaim signifie rénover, réclamer, c'est to demand) a certain numbers (vous mettez du pluriel alors qu'un mot introduit par a ne peut être que singulier)of things by shouting some words, key-words. The diversity of the(à ôter) language is a powerful weapon to manifest our urges et our sentiments. If there isn't(plutôt au prétérit ou même au subjonctif. Il n'est pas évident de relier cette structure à diversity. J'aurais dit soit without that diversity, if there wasn't such diversity / Were that diversity to be missing,), it'll be(plutôt au conditionnel, s'il n'y avait pas cette diversité, ce serait comme...) like the novel of Georges Orwell, nineteen eighty-for(orthographe) where a novelangue appears, in which the words to express a struggle is (vous mettez un verbe au singulier derrière un sujet pluriel) eraised (plutôt erased). Another point is that words allow interaction, and interaction makes human(soit humans, nom pluriel, soit human beings, soit people) more aware of the problem in the words or anyhthing (orthographe. Emploi maladroit de anything qui convient mal) like that, this is a fundamental hallmark for human progresses.(progress ne prend pas le pluriel) Words join the arts. (pas très clair) Indeed, some artists are involving (plutôt un présent simple)themselves owing to(ne convient pas) the words : they write poems or articles to struggle against an oppression for instance. Words permit (fait français traduit. plutôt allow)the remembers (ne convient pas pour traduire le nom souvenirs au pluriel, remembers est un verbe au présent 3ème personne du singulier)and root the present history in the future. It's like this we have received (français traduit. Très maladroit, ne convient pas) somme former books from very far periods, it allows us therefore to know ourselves better. (to know ourselves, nous connaître nous-même, ou to know each other, nous connaître les uns les autres ?)



Réponse : Rédaction/correction de perfect, postée le 28-10-2020 à 00:13:15 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

Merci beaucoup pour ces deux corrections très complètes et très précises.
Voici ainsi ma correction.

We'll tackle today the issue of words and how they can be a powerful tool to convey a message. First, many revolutions have taken place by words, messages. In strikes, the population demands certain things by shouting some words, key-words. The richness of language is a powerful weapon to manifest our urges et our sentiments. Were that diversity to be missing, it would be like in the George Orwell's novel , Nineteen Eighty-Four where a newspeak appears , in which the words to express a struggle are erased. Another point is that words allow interaction, and interaction makes human beings more aware of the problems on the world, this is a fundamental hallmark for human progress. Words are associated with the arts. Indeed, some artists involve themselves by the words : they write poems or articles to struggle against an oppression for instance. Words allows memories and root the present history in the future. This is how we have received some former books from very far periods, this legacy allows us to know better ourselves and each other.


Merci encore.
Excellente soirée,
perfect




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