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Let's Suggest/19

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Let's Suggest/19
Message de here4u posté le 26-07-2022 à 19:07:52 (S | E | F)
Hello, dear Workers!

Voici un nouvel exercice d'expression de "vacances" ... Espérons que vous serez nombreux à vous y essayer ...

Je vous en prie ... Osez participer ! N'ayez pas peur de vous tromper, de faire des fautes, ou d'écrire "hors sujet". Les fautes nous sont utiles, puisqu'elles permettent de réfléchir, de faire des corrections et de donner des explications ...
Paradoxalement, faire une faute est la meilleure chose qui puisse NOUS arriver, à vous, comme à moi ! Merci à ceux qui en font !
N'ayez pas de scrupules, vous ne serez pas jugés, mais simplement guidés et aidés ...
C'est en pratiquant, encore et souvent, que les progrès viendront ! N'hésitez donc pas à intervenir, pour la correction des expressions de vos co-workers, comme pour l'écriture de votre propre expression si vous le désirez ... (Vous pouvez aussi - et certains ne s'en privent presque pas ...) écrire sur le "mode de la conversation", comme vous "parleriez" !)

Voici le rappel des modalités de la première partie de l'exercice :
1. Je vous demande une EXPRESSION sur le sujet proposé (un sujet unique par exercice) à m’envoyer en mp dès que possible … (=> 130 - 150 mots au maximum.)

2. Le plus tôt possible, une première expression est publiée sur le Forum, et CHACUN est libre de « corriger » UNE FOIS ( en collant le texte et indiquant les erreurs EN BLEU, et en soulignant ce qui vous semble maladroit et que vous voudriez changer, sans donner la « correction » (forme correcte), comme il se doit.) Un seul devoir à la fois sera publié pour corriger…

Les modalités complètes sont accessibles sur le lien suivant :
Lien internet


( Je vous les rappellerai au fur et à mesure de la progression du travail )
Cet exercice sera ... ce que vous en ferez, ou Correction en ligne le mardi 09 août 2022.

Voici le nouveau sujet !

"Describe the top three wishes of your 'bucket list!' " (130 - 150 mots au maximum.), ("a number of experiences or achievements that a person hopes to have or accomplish during their lifetime.")

May THE FORCE be with You (with all of you! ) Everybody's welcome! Do not hesitate to write!




Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de here4u, postée le 28-07-2022 à 14:38:25 (S | E)
Hello dear Friends!

We need you once more to help us perfect the EXPRESSIONS... for whatever suggestions you'll make!

EXPRESSION N°1: Please, help us, indicating possible mistakes in blue and underlining what you think is clumsy.

The third wish of my bucket list woud be to live in a house on a large land in the countryside, which would enable me to own cows, hens, fruit trees, a garden and so forth, so that I could bake cakes or make yoghurts with fresh produce from my place.
My second dream would be to go on a trip throughout America with my relatives. I would start with venturing out into Amazonia, of course with a local explorer in order not to take the chance of dealing with any wild animals such as cheetahs or apes, then I would go north onto some Caribbean islands by boat. Finally, I would go to North America and roam up from Mexico to Canada.
To end, my first wholehearted wish would be world peace; that is to say fewer wars, less poverty, less abuse while more love, mutual aid and sharing! (150)





Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de maxwell, postée le 28-07-2022 à 20:18:46 (S | E)
Hello!

EXPRESSION N°1: Please, help us, indicating possible mistakes in blue and underlining what you think is clumsy.


The third wish of my bucket list woud be to live in a house on a large land in the countryside, which would enable me to own cows, hens, fruit trees, a garden and so forth, so that I could bake cakes or make yoghurts with fresh produce from my place.
My second dream would be to go on a trip throughout America with my relatives. I would start with venturing out into Amazonia, of course with a local explorer in order not to take the chance of dealing with any wild animals such as cheetahs or apes,(phrase un peu longue à couper ici) then I would go north onto some Caribbean islands by boat. Finally, I would go to North America and roam up (1) from Mexico to Canada.
To end, my first wholehearted wish would be world peace; that is to say fewer wars, less poverty, less abuse while more love, mutual aid and sharing! (150)



(1) Je ne suis pas sûr que up soit correct ici et j'aimerais bien le voir commenter par Here4U
Juste quelques remarques :
- c'est original de lister le TOP 3 dans ce sens. Mais c'est un peu déroutant car inattendu. Une petite phrase d'introduction pour préparer les esprits aurait été la bienvenue. Ou beaucoup mieux : lister dans l'ordre.
- Le dernier voeu me paraît hors sujet. Il est demandé ce qu'on aimerait accomplir de son vivant (et non pas : ce qu'on aimerait voir accomplir par les autres)



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de maxwell, postée le 31-07-2022 à 09:35:27 (S | E)
READY FOR Here4U
Hello!
Si après 48H, c'est permis, je me lance
EXPRESSION N°1: suggestions


The first wish of my bucket list woud be to live in a house on a large land in the countryside, which would enable me to own cows, hens, fruit trees, a garden and so forth, so that I could bake cakes or make yoghurts with fresh produce from my place.
My second dream would be to go on a trip throughout America with my relatives. I would start with venturing out into Amazonia, of course with a local explorer not to take the chance of dealing with any wild animals such as cheetahs or apes. Then I would go north onto some Caribbean islands by boat. Finally, I would go to North America and roam from Mexico to Canada.
Actually(1), my first wholehearted wish would be world peace; that is to say fewer wars, less poverty, less abuse along with more love, mutual aid and sharing! (150)

(1) Au départ, j'avais pensé mettre "last but not least", indispensable puisque j'ai bouleversé le classement. Mais comme ce dernier souhait est un peu à part et ne fait pas partie réellement de la bucket list, je le vois plutôt comme une réflexion, une conclusion.



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de vaiana, postée le 31-07-2022 à 15:30:18 (S | E)
Hello Maxwell
When you list a "top" or a "flop," it's quite rare to do it in ascending order
Starting with the last and ending with the first is more usual and logical



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de here4u, postée le 01-08-2022 à 11:53:40 (S | E)
Hello Dears!

Bravo Maxwell ! Tu as eu raison de prendre l'initiative du "vert" !

Now for the order of the list... I must admit that at first, I was quite surprised when I read EXPRESSION N°1 with the countdown... (but is it a countdown? ) I don't think there's a rule concerning which "wish" has to be given first... but I think I would have been clearer (in words) to express the gradation in my dreams. (We'll see what other writers [if any], will do! )

EXPRESSION N°2 will be posted tonight.




Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de here4u, postée le 02-08-2022 à 08:45:22 (S | E)
Hello dears!

I was hoping someone might step in and perfect EXPRESSION N°1, but it seems they're all enjoying a break! Let's hope it's refreshing, funny and relaxing! That's what I wish you!

EXPRESSION N°2:Please, help us, indicating possible mistakes in blue and underlining what you think is clumsy.

My main wishes would be to keep everything I have.
Firstly: Bringing up my children to the best on my ability is very important. I want to give them a good education and a happy childhood. I hope that they will do well at school and be able to defend themselves in life.
Secondly: Continue doing my job with various tasks. It is an interesting job that I enjoy. I earn enough money to have a comfortable life.
Thirdly: Keep my husband's love. Be still beautiful in his eyes even when I am 80 years old. We support each other. We are a perfect match.
I have no special skills to do everything else.
I am not looking for fame.
Remain in good harmony with everyone around me, makes me happy.
If I succeeded to manage well, children, business and love, I would have had a good life. env 150 mots

for your help! Enjoy!



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de vaiana, postée le 02-08-2022 à 15:47:51 (S | E)
Hello my friends Let's bend over backwards for this new essay

EXPRESSION N°2

My main wishes would be to keep everything I have.
Firstly: Bringing up my children to the best on my ability is very important. I want to give them a good education and a happy childhood. I hope that they will do well at school and be able to defend themselves in life.
Secondly: Continue doing my job with various tasks. It is an interesting job that I enjoy. I earn enough money to have a comfortable life.
Thirdly: Keep my husband's love. Be still beautiful in his eyes even when I am 80 years old. We support each other. We are a perfect match.
I have no special skills to do everything else.
I am not looking for fame.
Remain in good harmony with everyone around me, makes me happy.
If I succeeded to manage well, children, business and love, I would have had a good life.

Good essay



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de maxwell, postée le 02-08-2022 à 20:24:26 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 2:Please, help us, indicating possible mistakes in blue and underlining what you think is clumsy.
My main wishes would be to keep everything I have.
Firstly: Bringing up my children to the best on my ability is very important. I want to give them a good education and a happy childhood. I hope that they will do well at school and be able to defend themselves in life.
Secondly: Continue doing my job with various tasks. It is an interesting job that I enjoy. I earn enough money to have a comfortable life.
Thirdly: Keep my husband's love. Be still beautiful in his eyes even when I am 80 years old. We support each other. We are a perfect match.
I have no special skills to do everything else. (not clear to me)
I am not looking for fame.
Remain in good harmony with everyone around me, makes me happy.
If I succeeded to manage well, children, business and love, I would have had a good life. env 150 mots

Des mots de liaison seraient les bienvenus.



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de here4u, postée le 04-08-2022 à 16:55:08 (S | E)
Hello, Dears,

" Vert " autorisé à partir de ce soir ! de votre aide !



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de maxwell, postée le 04-08-2022 à 20:38:29 (S | E)
Hello!
EXPRESSION 2: SUGGESTIONS

My main wishes would be to keep everything I have.
Firstly, bringing up my children to the best of my ability is very important to me. I want to give them a good education and a happy childhood. I hope that they will do well at school and be able to defend themselves in life.
Secondly, I wish to keep(1) doing my job with various tasks. It is an interesting job that I enjoy. I earn enough money to have a comfortable life.
Keeping (1) my husband's love is my third wish. I'd also like to be(1) still beautiful in his eyes even when I am 80 years old. We support each other. I think we are a perfect match.
I don't think I have other special skills that I would want to use. (2) I am also not looking for fame. Actually, remaining(1) in good harmony with everyone around me makes me happy. If I succeed in reconciling work, family and private life well, I will have had a good life. env 150 mots

(1) Continue en début de phrase a pour moi, le sens d'un impératif : continuez
(2) La phrase était trop imprécise et ça me semble un peu sévère (voire de l'auto-flagellation). J'ai essayé d'interpréter l'intention de l'auteur en essayant d'atténuer mais ce n'est pas facile à faire. Désolé si je trahis sa pensée



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de here4u, postée le 08-08-2022 à 10:50:29 (S | E)
Hello dears!

Pas plus d'amateurs ... Voici donc l'EXPRESSION N°3: qui demande votre inspiration ...

As you're going to see, there's nothing spectacular about my bucket list...
Making my own mustard is the first wish on my bucket list! I've been trying for weeks to make a mustard as tasty as the one I used to buy at the supermarket. Unfortunately, so far, I have failed...
Finding time to read all the books I've bought is my second wish. I'm especially thinking of Agatha Christie's novels: I'd love to guess who is the murderer at least once...
Last but not least, I wouldn't want to die before I've understood all that I learnt during my childhood without really understanding it. As Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach wrote : "In youth, we learn, in age, we understand". Well, it's time for me to understand...(134W)

Please, help us, indicating possible mistakes in blue and underlining what you think is clumsy.



Réponse : Let's Suggest/19 de vaiana, postée le 08-08-2022 à 21:27:08 (S | E)
Hello,

EXPRESSION N°3

As you're going to see, there's nothing spectacular about my bucket list...
Making my own mustard is the first wish on my bucket list! I've been trying for weeks to make a mustard as tasty as the one I used to buy at the supermarket. Unfortunately, so far, I have failed...
Finding time to read all the books I've bought is my second wish. I'm especially thinking of Agatha Christie's novels: I'd love to guess who is the murderer at least once...
Last but not least, I wouldn't want to die before I've understood all that I learnt during my childhood without really understanding (repetition) it. As Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach wrote : "In youth, we learn, in age, we understand". Well, it's time for me to understand...




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