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Summary/correction

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Summary/correction
Message de bebedulac posté le 14-09-2019 à 17:43:53 (S | E | F)
Hello,
I'm a French student and I have to take an exam at the end of the year. Thus I try to be able to talk about British politics. I have summarized the recent events on Brexit. Could you wright correct my text ? Tnak Thank you :

BoJo faces a political opposition as soon as he was elected on a majority made of the minority of conservative white old men in population. Thus BoJo’s political view of a “no deal Brexit” is very unlikely to be supported by the majority of Brexiter, and even less among Parliament. He only assigned Brexiters to his cabinet which exacerbated the inner divisions among the Tories, all the more as he swept his Conservative opponents out of the party.
Early election which were supposed to establish a majority of Conservative, turned to have diminished the sits of the party; that’s why the Tories were forced into an agreement with DUP to govern. Yet that party is strongly opposed to the “backstop” with Eire.
BoJo’s recent decision to prorogue Parliament really damages his legitimacy. But his political opponents inflicted him series of defeats which forced him to renounce to his “no deal” plan, which was supposed to put pressure on the EU, yet. Thus BoJo gambles on early election but it may even more threat his party in favour of the Liberal democrats (remainers) or the Labour Party, which holds an ambiguous attitude towards Brexit.

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 14-09-2019 19:00


Réponse : Summary/correction de here4u, postée le 15-09-2019 à 09:29:37 (S | E)
Hello!

BoJo faces a political opposition as soon as he was elected(la concordance des temps est mal faite !) on a majority made of the minority of conservative white old men in XXX population. Thus BoJo’s political view of a “no deal Brexit” is very unlikely to be supported by the majority of Brexiter, and even less among Parliament. He only assigned Brexiters to his cabinet , which(la virgule st fondamentale !) exacerbated the inner divisions among the Tories, all the more XX as he swept his Conservative opponents out of the party.
Early election which were (cohérence singulier/ pluriel?) supposed to establish a majority of Conservative, turned to have diminished the sits of the party; that’s why the Tories were forced into an agreement with DUP to govern. Yet that party is strongly opposed to the “backstop” with Eire.
BoJo’s recent decision to prorogue Parliament really damages his legitimacy. (La construction de cette phrase est à revoir ...)But his political opponents inflicted him (construction à revoir) series of defeats which forced him to renounce to his “no deal” plan, which was supposed to put pressure on the EU, yet?. Thus BoJo gambles on early election but it may even more threat his party in favour of the Liberal democrats (remainers) or the Labour Party, which holds an ambiguous attitude towards Brexit.

Attention aux rajouts de conjonctives et relatives (pas forcément très bien construites ...) qui compliquent la compréhension du propos ...



Réponse : Summary/correction de bebedulac, postée le 15-09-2019 à 14:53:20 (S | E)
Hello,
Thank you for your comments .
Here his my definitive version. Yet, I still have some doubts.

BoJo faces a political opposition as soon as he is elected (or since he was elected ?) on a majority made of the minority of conservative white old men in the population. Thus BoJo’s political view of a “no deal Brexit” is very unlikely to be supported by the majority of Brexiters, and even less among Parliament. He only assigned Brexiters to his cabinet ,exacerbating the inner divisions among the Tories, all the more as he swept his Conservative opponents out of the party.
Early election, supposed to establish a majority of Conservatives, turned to have diminished the number of sits of the party; that’s why the Tories were forced into an agreement with DUP to govern. Yet that party is strongly opposed to the “backstop” with Eire.
Recently BoJo decided to prorogue Parliament, hopping to have his plan voted. In fact it damages his legitimacy :his political opponents inflicted a series of defeats on him. Thus he was forced to renounce to his “no deal” plan, yet supposed to put pressure on the EU. Now, BoJo gambles on early election but it may even more threat his party in favour of the Liberal democrats (remainers) or the Labour Party, holding an ambiguous attitude towards Brexit.



Réponse : Summary/correction de here4u, postée le 16-09-2019 à 10:42:33 (S | E)
Hello!

BoJo faces a political opposition as soon as he is elected (or since he was elected ?) on a majority made of the minority of conservative white old men in the population. Thus BoJo’s political view of a “no deal Brexit” is very unlikely to be supported by the majority of Brexiters, and even less among Parliament. He only assigned Brexiters to his cabinet, exacerbating the inner divisions among the Tories, all the more as he swept his Conservative opponents out of the party.
Early election(choisir entre singulier [mettre un article] ou pluriel [mettre un -s]!), supposed to establish a majority of Conservatives, turned to have diminished the number of sits( of the party; that’s why the Tories were forced into an agreement with XXX DUP to govern. Yet that party is strongly opposed to the “backstop” with Eire.
Recently BoJo decided to prorogue Parliament, hopping to have his plan voted. In fact it damages his legitimacy: his political opponents inflicted a series of defeats on him. Thus he was forced to renounce to his “no deal” plan, yet supposed to put pressure on the EU. Now, BoJo gambles on early election but it may even more threat(= a noun! you want the verb) his party (ordre des mots!)in favour of the Liberal democrats (remainers) or the Labour Party, holding an ambiguous attitude towards Brexit.

En fait, vous avez reproduit les mêmes erreurs, sans rien modifier, et en rajoutant quelques erreurs ...




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