<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas
Message de moon18 posté le 23-10-2008 à 20:04:58 (S | E | F)
"write a descriptive paragraph about a genius person"
voici ce que j'ai écrit:
One year ago, I saw an american movie named "Antitrust",it's really an outstanding movie.But, what I apprecieated most is the main actor. his name is Milo,and he is a genuis, especially in/at (je sais pas laquelle je dois utiliser) computer sciences, so some of his mates are jealous of him,"mais lui" he has a good heart, and he always help the others. they can rely on him, because he is very trustworthy, reliable, sincere and honest.
although he is exceptionally genius and clever, he keep his modesty and even his cloths are modest and casual: jeans, t-shirt, trainers..etc.moreover, he is not only genius at sciences but aloso he is a good basketball player.physically, milo is a slim teenager with brown eyes and curly hair.
all peolple want to keep company with him ans his parents are very pround of this obidient son.
voilà..d'abord je crois qu'il ya une certaine repetition du "he" et "his".mais j'arrive pas à l'eviter.
merci d'avance pour votre aide.
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 23-10-2008 20:10
Réponse: A genius person (correction) de laure95, postée le 24-10-2008 à 13:49:36 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
- american: majuscule pour le spays, les nationalités, les langues.
- apprecieated: problème d'orthographe.
- a genuis: même commentaire
- in/at: FOR
- "mais lui" he has a good heart: but he has a good heart
- he always help: revoir 3è personne du singulier du présent simple!
- he keep his modesty: même remarque.
- cloths: problème d'orthographe.
- jeans, t-shirt, trainers..etc: he wears jeans, a t-shirt, trainers,ets.
- genius at: a genius for.
- pround: problème d'orthographe.