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Correct / incorrect

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Correct / incorrect
Message from mohammad51 posted on 10-09-2018 at 17:33:49 (D | E | F)
Hello
Please could you help and correct this sentence?
Find the mistake and correct it:
Mohammad Salah became the first player achieving 28 goals in 38 games.
Thank you in advance.

-------------------
Edited by lucile83 on 10-09-2018 21:53


Re: Correct / incorrect from gerondif, posted on 10-09-2018 at 21:45:06 (D | E)
Hello
Achieving needs correcting.



Re: Correct / incorrect from mohammad51, posted on 11-09-2018 at 09:45:46 (D | E)
Hello
Thank you dear gerondif
Dear gerondif I want you review my answers
This sentence of course is not mine, but a friend in Facebook sent it.
He said "achieving" is not correct to use in sports for example achieving goals.
Yes, we say scoring goals >>>> I know
------
Mohammad Salah became the first player achieving 32 goals in 38 games. ( sentence source)
Of course the problem is within the gerund " achieving" ; we either need to use a verb or rephrasing the whole sentence.

corrections:
1- Achieving 32 goals in 38 games, Mohammad Salah became\ has become the first player.
2- Mohammad Salah, who scored 32 goals in 38 games, became \ has become the first player.
3- scoring 32 goals in 38 games, Mohammad Salah became the first player.
4- After achieving 32 goals in 38 games, Mohammad Salah became the first player.





Re: Correct / incorrect from gerondif, posted on 11-09-2018 at 19:25:16 (D | E)
Hello
I would say :
Mohammad Salah became the first player ( who managed )to score 28 goals in 38 games.
Mohammad Salah became the first player who succeeded in scoring 28 goals in 38 games.




Re: Correct / incorrect from mohammad51, posted on 12-09-2018 at 01:43:34 (D | E)
Hello
I think you gerondif changed the last example ....

Here your original message I picked to my page as you typed :
11-09-2018 at 19:25:16 (D | E)
Hello
I would say :
Mohammad Salah became the first player ( who managed )to score 28 goals in 38 games.
Mohammad Salah became the first player who succeeded in achieving 28 goals in 38 games.

----
Does your sentence the last one not correct or cannot be used?
I mean cannot use achieve as I suggested in my four suggestions?




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